Jul. 2nd, 2016 05:00 pm
silvercat17: (Default)

Excerpt from Silver Does Stuff. See it all (Why not post it all here? -Because I always forget to put in a cut and then long posts flood people's friends pages)

I had to have Nayda put down on Thursday. Zie was the sweetest, friendliest rat you could ask for. Zie was about 2 years, 4 months old. Of the three I had (Ed, Nayda, and Allard), only Ed is left. I’m going to continue to post pictures of all three, because they’re adorable and I’ve […]

silvercat17: (head)

Mirrored from Shenanigans - Curiously Lydean.

I have a thing I started on tumblr and twitter – ask me anything about my conlangs or writing. The offer is still open, although I may take a while to respond because work.

Some references links that might be helpful:

All my conlang posts

My tiddlywiki about my most developed language, Nyjichun

All my posts about my main writing / art project, The White Knight

A list of topics from my notes about the world of the White Knight and some general info

All of my writing posts (which will include The White Knight stuff)

silvercat17: (head)

Mirrored from Shenanigans - Curiously Lydean.

For most of you this shouldn’t be news, since you came here from a forum, tumblr, facebook, whatever. But, here’s what’s been going on with me and why the blog has been so inactive.

I lost my job in November, lived on unemployment for six months, then scraped by until I couldn’t any more. I now live with my parents (boo) and just got a part time job for a place I worked for before doing graphic art (mostly yay). My depression and anxiety is currently untreated, because my previous GP didn’t bother to listen to me so I quit him.I figured out a few months ago that I have the inattentive form of ADHD when I went to WebMD and saw that I have literally every symptom (except low self esteem) (and my GP refused to give me a prescription for anything – “you should go to a psychiatrist!” “well, yes, but I’m in the middle of moving, unemployed, and have ADD and depression. You wanna help me out?” “you really should see a psychiatrist.” “That’s a no, then, isn’t it?”).

I’m on Medi-cal right now, which makes it tough to find doctors, but I have a psychiatrist appointment in July when I’m hoping to get on medication that will help with all those problems. I’m planning to start therapy again, with someone who actually does CBT, but I know how my plans go, so that may not happen for quite a while.

In happier news, I got pet rats about six months ago who I love and adore. I have a ton of pictures to share and plan on doing a post introducing them, but again, plans and me don’t cooperate very often.

Moodwise, lately I’ve been doing pretty good. Living with my parents (or anyone for that matter) is stressful for me, but it does mean that there are other people who can do things like pick up milk and that there’s a set dinner time, so I won’t be having dinner at 8:00pm when I figure out that low blood sugar is making me depressed.

I’ve been on tumblr less and twitter more since I started my job. And even though the workplace isn’t ideal (too loud, open, and unorganized), doing creative work is a real mood lifter compared with the temp jobs I was getting before (pretty much all repetitive warehouse work).

After this I’m scheduling a post for tomorrow about my current project of fixing up a bed off Craigslist that should be more interesting to people than my conlang.

silvercat17: (head)

Mirrored from Shenanigans - Curiously Lydean.

Warning: I may be cranky (see tumblr for why)

I’ll be on google hangouts / google+ ( lydean.works@gmail.com ) and Omegle (fastest/guaranteed way to get me will be to use the tag ‘wingedtyger’)

I’ve tried this on tumblr before. Let’s see what happens if I post it to all my mirrors.

Offer is good probably for the rest of the night (4-28)

silvercat17: (head)

Mirrored from Shenanigans - Curiously Lydean.

Obviously, I fell off the face of the earth for a while. I’ve been doing a lot on tumblr, but now I’m doing my own stuff and so I felt I needed to start up the blog again. I can’t guarantee I won’t disappear again. I don’t know that anyone actually cares, honestly, but I’m going to pretend I have readers.

Yeah, so I’ve had a few posts on tumblr of art and writing, because I’m trying to get The White Knight going. Or at least I’m trying to start drawing again. I don’t know how long it’ll last.

Random ramblings about the main character

WIP of the main character

Character writings about three of the characters (trigger warning: child abuse)

I also posted a bunch of Omegle chats, which are pretty much terrible, and triggery for sexism, binarism, and other -isms (I don’t feel like dealing with the anxiety symptoms to read through them thoroughly. Basically avoid if you get triggered by assholes.)

silvercat17: (Default)
I've given up on dating sites. But I have a bunch of conversations from them that I find them amusing. (Generally because the guy doesn't understand genderqueer, asexual, etc.)

I'm going to post them here (dreamwidth and livejournal), but friends-locked. If you're not friends with me currently, but would like to see them, let me know and we'll fix that.
silvercat17: (head)

Mirrored from Shenanigans - Curiously Lydean.

I generally prefer to call my stories that, instead of writing, because I don’t write the majority of them down, and even the ones that I decide I should, usually don’t get written immediately. (For example: my vampire mystery novel that might have to end up being a trilogy or getting a lot of stuff cut out.)

All my stories start as daydreams, generally when I’m laying in bed, but I’ve started stuff to keep me from falling asleep in class, when I was in the car, visiting family for the holidays, etc, whenever I have mental energy that isn’t getting used (which is often…). Most of the stories start with me using the names and characters of whatever I’m currently obsessing with. The characters will get stretched and molded to fit wherever my mind roams. I also have character types of my own creation that show up under a variety of names.

A lot of my imaginings are blatant Mary Sues, interacting with my favorite characters. My most current one, who I’ve been using in more or less the same form since I graduated high school (so thirteen years now) is a fire mage who can do anything she can imagine in fire terms, including shape changing and traveling between worlds and into stories. She beats up demons, monsters, and the occasional god. And runs a school for other superheroes, including recruiting a young version of the Phantom of the Opera. Like I said, blatant Mary Sue. Incredibly blatant. Which is why I’ve completely discarded the notion of ever recording those stories (just getting rid of the copyright infringements would… well, basically remove most of it, honestly, and it’s too much of a massive crossover for me to want to do it as fanwork). I’m trying to replace her with another mental centerpiece but I haven’t come up with a story for her yet (and she’ll probably end up horrendously overpowered as well. It’s a recurring problem.)

I lot of it, I’ll just repeat the same stuff over and over. The fire mage and her friends have been working as singers at the Iceberg Lounge for like three years now, with various misadventures including demons showing up to fight Erik, helping Batman, and mostly just lots of snark and banter. Before that she was redoing the file room in Arkham and occasionally getting dragged into doing security work. Yes, it’s all very very self-indulgent.

But some of the smaller stories, the non-epic length ones and the one-shots, end up pretty good. And I try to write them down. The problem becomes when it’s a series of adventures with no specific end. And then I don’t know where the plot is going and it becomes a mess. I have two of those novels in process.

A lot of them I can pick out what influenced them. Some of them I can’t, aside from liking certain things (why do I like whump? No idea, but I sure do. I only just learned there was a specific term for it, for pete’s sake.) And it’s usually a giant mix of things (I have one – that’ll post once I get it edited a bit – that has an character inspired by Alpert, one of BaaingTree’s characters, some of the set-up inspired by a Sherlock fic, and most of it just my own really messed up brain.)

silvercat17: (Default)

Excerpt from Silver Does Stuff. See it all (Why not post it all here? -Because I always forget to put in a cut and then long posts flood people's friends pages)

Even though it’s constantly mispronounced, every time I see or hear my name it makes me happy. It’s my own name, one I’ve chosen and claimed. It’s not the name I was born with. The first name is similar and I kept my birth surname as a second middle name (in a futile attempt to […]

silvercat17: (tiger)

Mirrored from Shenanigans - Curiously Lydean.

Even though it’s constantly mispronounced (see the sidebar :) ), every time I see or hear my name it makes me happy. It’s my own name, one I’ve chosen and claimed.

It’s not the name I was born with. The first name is similar and I kept my birth surname as a second middle name (in a futile attempt to appease my parents). My birth name felt girly to me and wasn’t something I identified with. And my birth surname was something I was teased with as a kid (that and a dozen other things.)

Lydean feels gender-neutral to me. It used to be Lydia – which got the Beetlejuice references, among other things. Lydia is pretty. I don’t want to be pretty. And I can pretend that my friends and family that can’t be bothered to call me Lydean are shortening it. (Thanks guys, it doesn’t bother me at all)

There’s been disadvantages to changing it. It was expensive – about $700 for the various court and paperwork fees, plus missing two days of work (but that job sucked anyway). And my old last name was at the end of the alphabet (which was one reason I changed it – I was tired of being at the end of the list). But being at the end meant it was easier to find on a list. And the last time I got called to jury duty, my new name meant I got called into a court room faster (lawyers: never ever pick me for jury duty. It’s a terrible idea.)

It took about a year to get all my bills changed. There are a few things I’ve never bothered to change. I have to put down my old name for background checks when I get hired. People can’t pronounce it – but people had a hard time with ‘Lydia’ as well. I don’t know how the ‘n’ got in there, but everyone wanted to call me Linda. I’m not a Linda.

But that’s minor. I changed my name because I didn’t like my old one. It didn’t fit me. But I didn’t have any real trauma associated with it, so it’s not painful to deal with references to my old name (except people refusing to use it or giving me shit about it…)

I love my name.

Lydean is creative and unusual. It feels genderqueer, like me.

Katherine is strong. It used to be Marie, which is common and soft. Katherine is melodious. And I can pull pseudonyms from it. If I want to be Kitty that day, I can. I can be Kat. I can be Rine or even The.

Kenzall is unique. I didn’t mean it to be. I mean, I made it up, but I figured it was a real name somewhere. Apparently it wasn’t. It is now. It fits me too. You could interpret it as ‘kens all’ meaning either ‘understands all’ or ‘know-it-all’. The latter is definitely more accurate. It’s got a z. Z’s are cool.

Lydean Katherine Kenzall. It’s got rhythm. It’s got a beat. LyDEan KAthe’rine KENzall (okay, it’s not a great beat, but I am not musically talented.) I can be who I want with it.

I want to be a guy that day: throw on jeans and boxers, put in a packer, strap down the boobs, slouch and swear. Hey, I’m Dean Kenzall.

I want to be a sophisticated woman: put on heels, slacks and a tight top, line my eyes and put on mascara. Evening, I’m Lydean Katherine. (this never happens)

I feel silly or little: wear a cute hat and a t-shirt, bounce around barefoot. Hi! I’m Kitty!!

Or, my normal self: jeans, boxers, a tank top with a men’s shirt over, a fedora over hair combed to the side, sandals and a smart-ass grin, a backpack full of writing projects. Hi, I’m Lydean Kenzall.

It’s my own name. And it makes me happy.

(edited to remove some unnecessary negativity)

silvercat17: (thinking batman)

Mirrored from Shenanigans - Curiously Lydean.

I have a ton of stories and characters that I come up with that I never write down (mostly because, hooo boy, Mary Sue and self-insert ahoy, wow.) I’m including those in these, because, well, I can. It’s my site. ;)

At nothing else, you can use this as a reason to get lost on the TV Tropes site for a few hours. I’ll be adding stuff as I think of it, basically so I can then get it out of my head and preferably stop making the same list over and over again.

  • Villain Protagonist I love writing villains and bad guys, so I tend to write more of them than heroes. It does mean some of my other recurring themes get some Unfortunate Implications because every time I write that kind of character it’s a bad guy.
  • Morality Kitchen Sink, Even Evil Has Loved Ones, Even Evil Has Standards, Blue and Orange Morality. It’s hard to write an absolutely evil character when you’re in his head (although I manage if the situation calls for it). And, well, complicated characters are more fun.
  • Mind Hive. I like to write characters who have a couple of people living in their heads. Unfortunately, this is one of the ones that bugs me, because right now all those characters are bad guys right now. And I do believe in Healthy Multiplicity so I want to fix that (The one good thing is that those characters are generally complicated and are more grey morality than black. So, that helps. Still need to fix it though.)
  • The Sleepless. Several of my characters have weird or irregular sleep schedules that don’t impact them poorly. For some of them it’s to emphasize that they’re odd. Some of the others it’s just the way they are.
  • Tall, thin men in nice suits. Yeah, it’s Author Appeal. Also cat people, barefooting, and a bunch of things that don’t need to be mentioned here.
  • Superpowers. Mutants. Spandex. Yeah, I read too many X-men comics as a kid and now I read too many Batman comics.
  • Hurt / Comfort. Sometimes without the comfort. (aka Whump)
  • Masks and Scars. Partially goes with the superhero stuff. Partially just because masks are cool. Sometimes goes as far as Full Body Disguise, especially for superheroes (I’m not a big fan of the domino mask…)
  • One True Love. Which is silly, because it’s not something I believe in real life. At least when I write it, it doesn’t mean that the relationship will be easy. Usually combined with some sort of soul-link thing (I rarely go as far as telepathy. Because telepathy is highly overrated).
  • Nearly instant language learning or Universal translator. Generally through some sort of telepathy or magic.
  • Older than they look. I keep writing these characters that are practically immortal or have a healing factor that keeps them looking young. (yes, alright, I read too many comic books, okay?)
  • Characters with mental illnesses or personality disorders, usually things that don’t exactly match up with anything real. I did mention too much Batman, right?
silvercat17: okay panic (okay panic)

Mirrored from Shenanigans - Curiously Lydean.

I don’t post about my personal life very often. I don’t think it’s very interesting to be honest. But this is one of those posts, sort of.

I have depression and social anxiety. I’ve had it since I was a kid. Compared to a lot of people it’s not very bad. But when I’m stressed…

Well, let’s make this interesting.




I don’t have a whole lot of really good weeks


And of course once you drop something, you have to start thinking about when you can pick it up again. And it’s RIGHT THERE taunting you with your failure. But if I’ve got a project I’m working on it doesn’t really bother me. But if I have a project I drop more and more things because I’m not paying attention to them.

But then there’s stress. Stress caused by hormones, changes, too much failure, whatever.


No, really. It was supposed to be a cloud or something.


And that’s why I haven’t been updating.

silvercat17: (head)

Mirrored from Shenanigans - Curiously Lydean.

This year I wrote 135,000 words of fiction on six stories. I made a fool of myself here by posting a rough draft. I survived that with my self-esteem mostly intact. I won NaNoWriMo and got halfway through Camp NaNoWriMo. I’ve discovered booze I like and started a hell of a liquor cabinet. I tried to get readers here and mostly failed (blog catalogs don’t seem to work, triberr helps only a little). I posted here 56 times, on average twice a week, mostly.

On a more personal level, I moved into my own place, finally getting my stuff out of storage after about three years (although I still have quite a bit still packed because there’s no place to put it, or in a severely disorganized state). I’ve had the same boyfriend since approximately March. I’ve made several new friends and not been a complete hermit. I’m starting my third year working at the same place, where they seem to like me quite a lot and I have lots of free time (or I could do this on my breaks if I would actually remember to take them).

I’ve accomplished less than I would have liked to and more than I thought I would. I spent way too much monkey-clicking around the internet and napping.

So, next year, let’s try to do better! I have a plan (that I probably won’t stick to)!

Read the rest of this entry »

silvercat17: book from a kimono (book)

Mirrored from Shenanigans - Curiously Lydean.


Last year I switched from QWERTY to Dvorak. At the time I typed about 55-70 wpm, with 99-100% accuracy. Testing just now, I got 55 wpm, with 100% accuracy (but I did a lot of correcting) on Dvorak.

So, why Dvorak? Did I give into the hype that I would type faster, I wouldn’t get carpal tunnel, that I would suddenly be really really cool? (… I don’t think I’ve ever heard the last one.)

A little.

Read the rest of this entry »

silvercat17: (Default)

(This is partly a test post to see if the crossposting to livejournal and dreamwidth is working)

Color palettes:

Kitchen / dining room is emerald green, teal, and yellow.
Bathroom is royal blue, baby blue, and pink.
Bedroom is shades of blue, with whatever other colors I end up throwing in there.
Office area is wood tones, jade green, and indigo.

To get:

  • Tie rack
  • Jewelry box for cufflinks, tie bars, and jewelry
  • New blinds to replace the venetian blinds.
  • Glass top for sideboard and desk
  • Bar supplies (shaker, cocktail glasses, etc)


  • Display case for by bed for toys
  • Rewire orange lamp and make shade.
  • Clean, repaint, and rewire yellow kitchen cart.
  • Media computer in floating shelf box above sideboard

I’m sure there’s more I’m not thinking of right now

Mirrored from Shenanigans - Curiously Lydean.

silvercat17: (head)

Mirrored from Shenanigans - Curiously Lydean.

I’ve actually been there almost two weeks now, but I’m doing this in order, dammit! =^_^=

So, I moved into my first apartment completely by myself, completely from the beginning. It’s in Ventura in an building that was apparently built in 1907 (according to the sign that I still need to get a picture of).

I looked at another apartment in the building that had a lot of cute mid-century touches (like black and white checkerboard linoleum in the kitchen and bathroom, and peach tile in the bathroom). But I couldn’t afford that one. I got one that is half below ground and very private, except for the laundry room right next door (which is cool). It doesn’t have the same cute touches, but it’s nice. So, to the tour!

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